Hard To Say Goodbye

The Witness has been my identity for the last several years. When I became aware of her I grasped her like a long lost friend and she has been with me ever since. She could be watchful of thoughts, people and things from a distance staying disconnected..being a spectator. I was quite proud and happy that I had her…seeing this as an advancement of my spiritual growth.

It is with regret that I have come to realize that she came just to take over the role of my previous identity. Although she has helped me make great strides in self realization, she has now made me aware that she too represents a separate self and needs to go. She has been a true friend and guide and I don’t want to let her go….maybe I’ll just call on her when needed rather than cutting it off completely…hard to say goodbye.


Filed under Absolute, Direct Experience, Direct Inquiry, Enlightenment, Nonduality, Seeker, Spirituality, The Witness

9 responses to “Hard To Say Goodbye

  1. Even when you reach whatever state that you have determined is the ultimate, final place, the ego will still assume that as its “identity.” Being “egoless,” as advantageous as it may prove to be, is still an ego position. At some point, sometimes the best and highest attainment is to just live, being as kind and compassionate as you can. We are loathe to let go of the search, (at least I am), but I believe that our search for “realization” is the one thing that will keep us from ever getting there. Of course, that’s just my opinion 😉 Namaste . . .

  2. I have enjoyed reading your contemplations on your blog here!

    My experience is that the *idea* or concept of “egolessness” is just another form of ego – as risinghawk said. The *idea* of “no-me” is just as much the ego as the idea of a separate “me” – it’s still and “identity” – as you say. How easy it is to get entangled in these things. I have given up engaging in the difference between ego and not-ego (me/no-me) as it still creates duality where there is none. Even trying to “get rid of” the ego is the ego thinking it needs to get rid of itself. The “ego” is still part of the whole – cannot be *separate* from the whole – our true identity. It’s just a mask…

    What I find most helpful is to keep re-turning to The Silence within, behind the mask, where there is no distinction between ego and not-ego, but only the exquisite ISness of Being that we are – where all distinctions dissolve and what we *think* really matters falls away… I’m still learning this – daily 🙂

    btw – I would say seek as long as you need to, until seeking drops away *naturally*, until you *know* you are “home.” Just my experience 🙂

    Humbly _/\_ Christine

  3. Yes, Identity is the key. But no identity means exactly that: no self. Reminds me of Bernadette Robert’s writings.

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